oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
