bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
