Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
