i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
