Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
