New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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