dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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