Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
