You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
