in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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