i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
