I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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