All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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