i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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