She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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