i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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