? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
