someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
