I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
