Cold hands, warm shart.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
