we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Small penises have feelings too.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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