i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
