Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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