youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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