Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
