He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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