It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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