I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
