I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
