We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
