I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
