you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
