I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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