so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
