Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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