sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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