omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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