ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
