You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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