this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
