Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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