I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
