There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
