im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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