I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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