i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am one with the molecules
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
