My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
