What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
