You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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