i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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