Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
