You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
