Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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